Hey! There's a gift.
Well, well, well . . .
Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.
Perfect for wearing in the basement.
Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
I love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
I really don't deserve this.